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Jokes

  • change name

    I’ve changed my name to Getov, so it sounds like girls are shouting my name during sex.

  • I can’t believe the government is reading my emails!

    I can’t believe the government is reading my emails!
    I don’t even read my emails.

  • funny joke!

    A policeman stopped me today.

    As I stepped out of the car he said, “Sir, what did the big sign say back there?”
    “Children, Slow Down.” I replied. “So why didn’t you?” he asked. I said, “Because I’m 32.”

  • funny joke!

    When you think about how huge the earth is, and how it’s just a fraction the size of the sun, which is just a speck of dust in the entire universe… it’s easy to rationalize eating an entire cake.

  • funny joke!

    I was in a serious relationship once.
    We never smiled.

  • funny joke!

    Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a look at the people around me and think, maybe I already am.

  • funny joke!

    MEN: If you ever want to know what a woman’s mind is like……
    Just imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. ALL. THE. TIME.

  • let me..

    “Please, just let me finish.” I said to my wife during an argument last night.

    “No I will NOT let you finish!” she yelled, pulling me off the prostitute.

  • JOKES

    Having sex for money is illegal but most girls know clever tricks to get around it such as marriage.

  • One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies.

    One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies. In the kitchen he runs into his grandpa who is drinking some whiskey. He asks “What’s that grandpa, can I have some?”
    In response grandpa asks “I don’t know, can you touch your dick to your asshole?”
    Taken aback the boy says “no” “Well when you can touch your dick to your asshole, come back here and I’ll share my whiskey with you.” Slightly offended Read More »One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies.