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Jokes

  • Elfie

    If one of Santa’s helpers takes a
    picture of himself with his
    smartphone, is that an “elfie”?

  • Preferences

    It’s funny how most men prefer specific fats on a woman’s body, while most women prefer specific muscles on a male body.

  • You’re not

    “I’m going to pay for this in the morning,” I slurred after downing a bottle of whiskey.

    “No you’re not,” said the shop keeper.

  • Not gently

    I went to see a nurse about my concerns my penis is too small.
    “There’s absolutely nothing there to worry about” She said Fucking bitch, could have given it to me gently.

  • Stoner thoughts:

    Strippers are just married prostitutes. Think about it, they’ll tease you all daym but they’ll NEVER sleep with you.

  • “Don’t open that wardrobe!” shouted my wife as I was just about…

    “Don’t open that wardrobe!” shouted my wife as I was just about to, “Your Christmas present is in there!”
    “Too late,” I said, pulling open the door.
    “You get me the shittiest presents!” I said, looking in. “Why the fuck would I want a half naked milkman?”

  • Complaints

    Being a man is far worse than being a women. Yeh, women get periods, pregnancy and mood swings. But, men have to marry them.

  • The best sex is “What if we get caught?” sex.

    The best sex is “What if we get caught?” sex.

  • Irony

    Isn’t it funny, you stop drinking cause you want to settle down and have kids.
    Then you have the little fuckers and all you want to do is drink.

  • Story

    When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their “arguments” were very common.Read More »Story