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What did the TV say to the other TV?
Hisense, I’m dad.
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She won’t admit it, but I’m sure my wife’s favorite sex position is “trick-dog style.”
It’s where I sit up and beg, then she rolls over and plays dead.
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What did the monk say when he saw Jesus Christ’s face in his margarine?
“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha.”
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A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.””I have a better idea,” she replied. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.””Wow! That’s a great idea!” he exclaimed. “Good,” she replied. “Get your own damn blanket!” After a moment of silence, he farted.
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R/memes•Posted byu/JTLYSOH8 hours ago3How about no (and he…
r/memes•Posted byu/JTLYSOH8 hours ago3How about no (and he waddled away)
14.9k points59 comments
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What did the gangsta say to the phone?
“Back up before i whoop yo ass!”
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Recommendations for a noob philosopher?
I’m looking for some sources to help get me started in philosophy. I have mainly explored religious philosophy, a little bit of politics, and stoicism. I would like to explore secular philosophies and ideologies. Online resources (especially YouTube) would be preferable, but book recommendations are also welcome. Thanks!
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What do you call a really persistent uncle?
A pain in the ass.
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It was freezing that day and I prayed for snow at my wedding…
It never happened but I got 8 inches on my honey moon.
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Why Did Santa Buy 3 Gardens?
So he can ho ho ho
Jokes
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