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I like my coffee like I like my women
Lukewarm and bitter.
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Why did the band “Rage against the machine” got arrested at the airport ?
Because they release another bombtrack
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Did you hear the one about the guy who always poops?
He can’t keep his shit together
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How many lawyers do you need to change a light bulb?
You need 2.One to change the light bulb and the other to defend the old one.
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What do you call a Christian that never stops moving.
A Roman Catholic
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How do you get your kids to be quiet while you sleep?
Tell them to wake you up in 30 minutes for chores and house cleaning. They’ll go quiet instantly and try their best to not wake you.
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I thought the fixture was perfectly level,
but the wedge beneath proved to be a Sham!
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Why did Jeremy Corbyn buy so many advent calendars?
So he could keep opening the door to number 10
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Tried to start a new trend
Turns out the #youtoo movement was a terrible idea
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Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends.
Because he’s married.