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Excuses are like assholes…
Some people have really nice ones.
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What do you call the last surviving member of a royal family?
The Epic Victory Royal.
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I farted and blamed it on the dog.
It was a lie of emission.
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I hate phone sex
Once the phone is in, you can’t even hear what the other person is saying.
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What’s the difference between masterbation and a hand job
Single player vs local Co op
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Guys, don’t pee in the woods….
You’d piss mother nature off.
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TIL: bumblebees can fly higher than Mount Everest
In retrospect, this was pretty obvious considering that Mt. Everest can’t fly
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My uncle doesn’t like us lighting crackers on special occasions..
He says we’re burning money.
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What did the pretentious underground portion of a house say to the floors above it at an EDM festival?
“I wonder what the bass meant?”