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Jokes

  • On the way home from dinner, three friends died in a car crash.

    When the arrived at the gates of Heaven, St. Peter said he would let them in if they had something related to Christmas on them.The first one pulled out a cigarette lighter. “It looks like a little Christmas candle,” he said. St. Peter reluctantly let him pass. The second friend pulled out his keys. “When you jingle them it sounds like a bell,” he said. He too was given a reluctant pass. The third friend pulled out a pair of underwear. “What does that have anything to do with Christmas?” St. Peter said. “Well, you see… These are Carol’s.”

  • A Monk

    A Monk who claimed he saw the face of Jesus in his Margarine said “He Can’t Believe it’s not Buddha”

  • My IQ dropped from 70 to 42. I was worried. Then I checked again, it was 110. I was shocked, I checked again to find it was 150. I rushed to the doctor.

    She told me it’s my pulse and not my IQ.

  • Did you hear about the maple syrup company that went out of business?

    Those poor saps.

  • I’m going to the theatre for a performance about puns

    It’s a play on words

  • The gynecologist who became a mechanic:

    A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?”“The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.” After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career”.

  • iSpoofer direct install link is back up

    iSpoofer for POGO – Installation

  • Why does the KKK prefer driving Lincoln’s?

    Cause as they say they are “All White, All White, All White!”This is satire, please don’t ban me. Fuck racism!

  • Yo mommas so fat

    When u look up the word “fat” in the dictionary, it’s a picture of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!1!!!!!

  • Me idiot, MAA

    Ask thing answer is me