My son turned in his art assignment and his teacher said, “Bobby, this page has nothing on it?”
He replied, “Yes it does, I drew a blank.”
School Jokes
School jokes to make the whole class laugh. From clever teachers and sneaky students to homework excuses and exam-day panic, this collection of funny school jokes brings the classroom to life. Great for kids, teachers and anyone who still has nightmares about forgetting their homework.
Louder!
A redneck is walking on the beach. He comes across two beautiful college girls.The redneck says, “Hey, where y’all from?”The two girls reply, “Yale.”The redneck… Read More »Louder!
I believe that schools do not prepare us for the future.
The best example of this is when your teacher said “If you’re ever nervous on stage, picture everyone in their underwear.” I try doing that… Read More »I believe that schools do not prepare us for the future.
My math teacher never goes outside.
I can tell, cos there’s no sin of his tan.
TIFU by not knowing how to talk to sad people
Warning, this isn’t a happy post this has a sort of good ending but it’s not happy also obligatory happened yesterday not today’sMy friend invited… Read More »TIFU by not knowing how to talk to sad people
A sticky solution to a sticky problem.
Did you hear about the Math professor who had a constipation problem?He got it worked out…. . . . . . . . . .… Read More »A sticky solution to a sticky problem.
In medical school, I was told never to tell a person they have cancer right before they board a plane
Nobody likes a terminal diagnosis.
I feel like what I think doesn’t really matter to my father.
I have concerns about my mental health but whenever I talk to my dad about it he either chalks it up to me being lazy… Read More »I feel like what I think doesn’t really matter to my father.
What did the inflatable principle say to the inflatable school pupil when he brought in a pin into his inflatable school?
You’ve let me down, you’ve let the school down, but most of all you’ve let yourself down.
I remember once at school we had a spelling bee
We also had an ant that could tap dance
I took my pie to Detroit, Nebraska and Alabama
My math teacher said that for pie to work take it to 3 dismal places.
Teacher – What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Student – I don’t know and I don’t care
Teacher: Your daughter said the F word in class.
Teacher: Your daughter said the F word in class. Me: Well…She didn’t fucking learn it from me.
Who are you
Dad: Son, you better pass that exam today or else forget me as your father! Son: Sure, whatever Dad. *5 Hours later* Dad: So, how’d… Read More »Who are you
Withdrawing
All Samsung officials are withdrawing their children from school, as the first thing children are being taught is: A is for Apple.
Story
When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their “arguments” were very common.Read More »Story
Oral skills
I remember back in High School, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good… Read More »Oral skills
Recognition
One sunny day, a priest and a rabbi are walking in the park. They pass a lake, and the priest says “It’s nice and sunny,… Read More »Recognition
Alternative
Instead of leaking celebrity photos, maybe we can leak PDF versions of college textbooks? Just shooting that out there.
I was…
Elementary School; “He told me to!” Middle School; “It was a dare!” High School; “I was drunk.”
French
When I was a toddler, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French” just after a swear word. I’ll never forget the first day at… Read More »French
Busy hands
My son came home from school the other day with a massive bIack eye… I said, “Where the fùck did you get that from?” “Billy… Read More »Busy hands
no chemistry
I went speed dating last night. Halfway through the night I was surprised to sit down in front of my first love. We had a… Read More »no chemistry
for fun
*At school* Teacher: Remember, the “f” in Physics stands for fun. Me: But sir, there is no “f” in Physics Teacher: Exactly.
anywhere
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: “Hi there, good lookin’. How’s… Read More »anywhere
element
I’ve been suspended from school for another three days. When my science teacher asked me what my favourite element was, karate chopping her and saying… Read More »element
candy or money
I don’t know what’s happening in this country. You’ve got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It’s a nightmare –… Read More »candy or money
the sum
A little boy was doing his Math homework. He said to himself, Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six,… Read More »the sum
honest
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because… Read More »honest
new school
I was transferred to a new school last week. I hated being the new guy so I had to make a name for myself. I… Read More »new school
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