I will..
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
One-Liners
The best one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.
Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.
Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.
Colbie
I learn from the mistakes of others who have taken my advise.
pissed
Last year, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family for Christmas. My husband was pissed!
When a woman says “what?” It doesn’t mean she didn’t hear you,…
When a woman says “what?” It doesn’t mean she didn’t hear you, it means she’s giving you a chance to correct herself.
horndog
At the marriage counselor, my wife says, “I do SO enjoy sex! But this horndog wants it five or six times a YEAR!”
gentlemen
My boyfriend opened the car door for me last night. It would have been a sweet gesture had we not been going 70 mph.
incomplete
According to the Institute of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10 people…
waiting
No, standing as close to me as you possibly can, will not make the line move faster.
ptotoshop
If you drink enough, your brain starts photoshopping people!