One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

confused

Ladies..Men think with their penis… So if you see one scratching their crotch, it means they’re confused.

My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn’t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat.

If you get drunk and don’t regret anything the next day, then something is wrong with the way you drink!!

How is it that whenever I run over a cat it’s on it’s 9th life?

My favorite bumper sticker: “If you can read this, I can slam on my breaks and sue you.”

Now that most computers have touchscreens, websites should make their advertising links look like smudges.

“People should just mind their own business,” probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read on a social networking site.

i will be answering all questions…with my middle fiinger today

I’m not talking to myself, I’m talking to the NSA!

in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment