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One-Liners

The best one-liners in one place: short, sharp jokes that land in a single sentence. These quick one-line jokes are perfect for a fast laugh, a text to a friend, or a line to steal for your next toast. We keep adding new ones, so there is always something fresh here to make you groan and grin.

Friday night

It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again…

confusing

I need to delete some of my fake dating profiles. It’s gotten so confusing I just met myself at Starbucks.

unbelievable

You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?

advice

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

work out

I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio.

one, two..

Summer vacations: where you drink triple, see double and act single.

bankruptcy

I have $.27 in my account…that means I have more money than the whole city of Detroit!

cleaning

The only thing that men are good at cleaning are the Browser History. 

viagra

Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.