the same
When I say I want someone with a sense of humor, I really mean I want someone with MY sense of humor.
One-Liners
The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.
like most people
Do you think regular dogs hate police dogs like most people hate policemen?
recording
The Japanese flag is recording everything.
prank
I always wanted to super glue a $20 to the floor in the revolving door.
too much
Bars are weird, they’re the only business that kicks you out for buying too much of their product.
fence
The range of the Wi-Fi signal is MY electric fence.
guards
Anyone else find it ironic how professional boxers need security guards to walk them to the ring?
true love
True love is waking up in the middle of the night just to watch your laptop while it sleeps.
don’t ask
If you have to ask a woman if she came, she didn’t.
solver
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem Solver.