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One-Liners

The best one-liner jokes: short, clever and funny in a single sentence. Quick laughs you can read and share in seconds.

almost cooking

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The recipe might be easy, but a reservation is easier.

exotic stare

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Vacations are a great way to spend thousands of dollars to stare at your phone in exotic locations.

prefer

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Actually officer, I prefer to think scotch smells like me.

camouflage

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What if aliens designed their spaceships to look like airplanes?

too serious

I was in a serious relationship once. We never even smiled.

if you know what i mean

I’ve been called sugar, pumpkin, honey, cupcake, sweets…all kinds of damn food. I’m a girl, dammit. Eat me.

Friday night

It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again…

confusing

I need to delete some of my fake dating profiles. It’s gotten so confusing I just met myself at Starbucks.

unbelievable

You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?