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Dating Jokes

Dating jokes for the hopeful, the hopeless and everyone swiping in between. From first-date disasters to hilarious pickup lines and the mysteries of modern romance, these funny dating jokes will have you laughing instead of crying at your love life. Single or taken, there is something here for you.

second

My girlfriend notices i play X-box a lot.One afternoon she came over when i was playing X-box and she said “its like your second girlfriend”.I… Read More »second

honestly

“You have to enjoy the little things in life,” …I whispered into my girlfriend’s ears, as I took my pants off.

are you done

Its never polite to ask the guy at the next table “are you done with that?” Especially when he’s breaking up with his girlfriend.

confusing

I need to delete some of my fake dating profiles. It’s gotten so confusing I just met myself at Starbucks.

no way

A male whale and his mate were swimming around in the ocean, when all of a sudden, the male whale catches sight of a whaling vessel in the distance.
He takes a closer look, and recognizes it as the ship that harpooned his parents many years ago. So, he turns to his girlfriend and tells her that he wants to avenge the death of his parents.
Read More »no way

question

I’ve been with my girlfriend for around 4 years, so last night I finally popped the question. …Why the fuck are we still together?

suddenly

I took off my boyfriend’s glasses last night and said, “Wow, you’re stunning!” He said, “And so are you…. …suddenly.”

once or twice

My young Secretary was telling me a story today, that she had great sex last night with her boyfriend. But when they were finished, she looked in the box of condoms, but there were only six left out of twelve, so she asked her boyfriend what happened to the other five condoms?
He told her he’d masturbated with them.
Read More »once or twice

compromise

My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn’t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat.