A man get caught by the police speeding.
The officer asked the man if he knows why he got pulled over. The man replys that he was speeding because the cars stolen and… Read More »A man get caught by the police speeding.
Car Jokes
Car jokes and driving humor to get your engine running. From backseat drivers and parking fails to mechanics, traffic and the mystery of that warning light, these funny car jokes are built for anyone who loves the open road. Buckle up, the puns are coming in fast.
A redhair with a handlebar moustache
driving a Renault Megane
Has anyone of you been affected by minister Saab’s convoy?
Posting the same from r/Hyderabad.I was at kbr for an evening walk. It was around 7, and that’s usually the busiest hour. Roads were jammed… Read More »Has anyone of you been affected by minister Saab’s convoy?
As a child I stole money from my dads bank card.
I’m now a [m30] my dad never knew exactly how much I took but since then I have been fortunate enough to be able to… Read More »As a child I stole money from my dads bank card.
Is this good boi mini enough?
r/vancouver•Posted byu/Therapy-Jackass6 months agoArchivedThis cute little guy at main Street car free day todayPhoto/Video 373 points21 comments
When I die, I’d like to go in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming like the other 4 people in the car.
I HATE MY BUS DRIVER SO MUCH OMFG
Some kid was being annoying, so I lightly kicked him, so he would get the message that he was being obnoxious, and the bus driver… Read More »I HATE MY BUS DRIVER SO MUCH OMFG
I was chatting to a stunningly attractive woman
..and when I asked her name she replied it was Carmen, “because I like cars and men” …”and what’s your name”? she asked me.. Beer… Read More »I was chatting to a stunningly attractive woman
So I was charged for sex trafficking.
Never going to have sex in the middle of the highway anymore.
Someone stole the tires off all the police cars.
The cops are working on it tirelessly.
The people of Iranian city of Isfahan were famous for their jokes and puzzles.
An Iranian townsman planned to visit Isfahan so he asked his friends what they would like him to bring them from the glorious metropolis.They said,… Read More »The people of Iranian city of Isfahan were famous for their jokes and puzzles.
The date is August 6, 1945
A Japanese man in Hiroshima starts wakes up in the morning before getting a seriously important job interview.He walks outside in his fancy suit to… Read More »The date is August 6, 1945
I was driving down the road yesterday and was almost hit
By a storm trooper.
Rushing for Black tomato gin
I’ve never run a marathon… But I have walked across a parking lot really fast because the liquor store was about to close.
Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they’re telling me…
Whenever I see hitchhikers, I just pretend they’re telling me I’m doing a good job driving.
Neither me
Cop: Sir, are you drunk? Me: No, occifer. Cop: Step out of the car and say the alphabet backwards, please. Me: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba Cop: I’m impressed,… Read More »Neither me
I’m taking the Highway to Hell because I am far too lazy to…
I’m taking the Highway to Hell because I am far too lazy to climb the Stairway to Heaven.
Witness
I took a taxi to my court appearance the other day. “What are you here for?” asked the driver. “My bankruptcy hearing. You might as… Read More »Witness
See you
My wife said last night, “Do you realise my mother is coming over for dinner in 5 minutes?” I replied, “Yes I know, I’m getting… Read More »See you
My wife stopped the car today and asked a guy for some…
My wife stopped the car today and asked a guy for some directions. “What’s the quickest way to get to the town centre?” she asked.… Read More »My wife stopped the car today and asked a guy for some…
“I bet you your car, house, savings, and dignity that you can’t…
“I bet you your car, house, savings, and dignity that you can’t make me happy for the rest of my life.” -Women
I told you
Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: cause you wanted to see how tall I am? Cop: step out of the car, sir.… Read More »I told you
“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is…
“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job,” said my 35… Read More »“If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is…
Service
“So you’re telling me you carry a customer’s groceries to their car free of charge?” I asked the bag boy at the supermarket this morning.… Read More »Service
As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was…
As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was allowed a final minute with my wife. I said “Listen Susan,… Read More »As I waited to be taken down to start my prison term, I was…
After watching my son play Grand Theft Auto V, he certainly…
After watching my son play Grand Theft Auto V, he certainly won’t be driving my car anytime soon.
siren
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
She is wearing a fireman’s hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says “Hey little girl.Read More »siren
incident
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
funny joke!
A policeman stopped me today. As I stepped out of the car he said, “Sir, what did the big sign say back there?” “Children, Slow… Read More »funny joke!
texting
I just saw a status posted by a female friend that said “I love my new car, I’m in heaven!” from a mobile device. It… Read More »texting