Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa!
thefun
I care about how girls feel.
The firmer the better.
Balls of Age
People who play basketball are 20. People who play baseball are 30. People who play golf are 60. Notice how when u grow older, your… Read More »Balls of Age
I always cook with with vegetable oil.
It was a Wesson I learned long ago.
When you meet new people, be sure to use alot of big words…
that way you will sound, photosynthesis.my nephew told me this today, said he made it up.
My Wife and I must be getting older. The meaning of 69 has changed …
Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes.
If you had to choose one body part to smell . . .
Would you pick your nose ?
To my 9 yr old: wow, Altoids were made in the 1700’s.
Her: yeah, I know, they’re all dusty
A man asks for the wifi password at a bar
The bartender replies”Buy a beer first”So the man orders a beer and asks the bartender again.He replies:”Buyabeerfirst”
My teacher told me I’d never be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made three jugs and a vase and they’re lovely
[PS4][H] Titanium White Apex [W] Pure Credit Offers :)
Currently have some old TW Apex. I’m tryna get rid of all my items before I get rid of my Ps4. Looking for credits only… Read More »[PS4][H] Titanium White Apex [W] Pure Credit Offers 🙂
Celery groups
Hello, im doing a small scrapper using flask and celery, I want to run these scrappers in a celery group. But i cant get my… Read More »Celery groups
What makes the most sense
So I plan on trading my truck in with my next auto purchase. I have an additional 30k saved. I assume it would make more… Read More »What makes the most sense
Tik tok tik tok tik tok
r/GirlsInaGif•Posted byu/GirlsInaGif19 days agoThey told her she could be anything she wanted, so she became a clock. Tick Tock motherfukers. Tick Tock. View CommentsPlay0:000:00SettingsFullscreen1.1k points19… Read More »Tik tok tik tok tik tok
What did the reddit user say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?
EDIT: wow this really blew up thanks for gold
A tourist takes a trip to a rain forest
In order to help guide him through the forest, he hires two local guides. About halfway through their trek they start to hear drums in… Read More »A tourist takes a trip to a rain forest
How come you can’t work?
Because I have a vision problem, I just don’t see myself working.
Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to… Read More »Divorce, custody and Pepsi Cola…
Today I heard the one about the hungry clock
It went back four seconds
Does anybody know the old names of the streets in Jamaica Queens?
I used to shop on 165th Street but always wanted to know the original name of it, for instance.
In defense of the Car Mechanic in MP9 and MP10!
Ok, downvote me I don’t care. People say it removes strategy from the game? Wow… no. Because you have to adapt to what they do,… Read More »In defense of the Car Mechanic in MP9 and MP10!
How can you distinguish between a hospital and a military base?
Frankly I’m not sure – I’m just a drone pilot.
The Americans in WWII discovered a weakness in the Nazis.
The Americans snuck into the Nazi bunkers, and all of a sudden, pulled out…Cleaning spray.They all pressed the release button, but when the haze cleared,… Read More »The Americans in WWII discovered a weakness in the Nazis.
I go to the gym religiously…
ya know twice a year when my family starts bugging me to go
My girlfriend accused me of gaslighting her.
I told her she’s crazy, there’s no such thing as gaslighting.
My dad joke
So it’s Christmas time, and Jesus arrives at his parents house. Jesus says “hello mother I have arrived” and Mary says “it wouldn’t be Christmas… Read More »My dad joke
6 six years ago I made a new year’s resolution, and I have never broken it.
“No more New year’s resolutions”
What did JFK realize on 11/22/1963?
JFK finally got it through his head that Dallas was no place for liberals.
What’s a goats favorite song?
Baaaaaad guy. By Billie Eilish
You’d think anybody being given a multi-storey car park in the CBD would be cock-a-hoop but no, not Mariah Carey…
She told him repeatedly she didn’t want a lot for Christmas.