Why was 4 afraid of 5?
Because 5 was a registered Six offender
thefun
I don’t trust stairs
They are always up to something.
Got some sad news today.
After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with his patients and now can no… Read More »Got some sad news today.
Apple breast implants
Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your… Read More »Apple breast implants
I must admit that my sεxual desires have been getting out of hand…
But it wasn’t until I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom.
What sort of “Easter Eggs” would you like to see in the Jurassic World 3 movie?
I was thinking I’d like to see a scene where Sam Neill’s character, Alan Grant, is in his home and it has an absolute amazing… Read More »What sort of “Easter Eggs” would you like to see in the Jurassic World 3 movie?
My friend who majored in psychology suggested I try CBT to combat my anxiety.
My kinky ass spent the better part of an hour wondering how that would help; then I googled it incognito.
Finn, ex-stormtrooper, Resistance hero, walks into a bar
The bartender sees him, rolls his eyes, and grunts, “It’s FN 2187.”
There are a number of things I don’t know how to do
1st, I don’t know how to count. 5th, I can’t make a funny joke.
Selena Gomez Lose You To Love Me
You promised the world and I fell for itI put you first and you adored itSet fires to my forestAnd you let it burnSang off-key… Read More »Selena Gomez Lose You To Love Me
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?
Mitosis!Sorry if it’s been posted before but my little cousin just told me this and I died laughing
What’s the difference between a grenade and a wife?
A grenade will only blow your best friend once
A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.
There is a puff of blue smoke and a genie pops out. “You have three wishes. I can give you anything in the world. If… Read More »A teacher goes for a long walk on the beach. She finds a shiny magic lamb, picks it up, and rubs it.
cursed_punishment
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Cross eyed teacher
Have you heard about the cross eyed teacher? She couldn’t control her pupils…
The first time
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy.… Read More »The first time
What’s that shiny object?
A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale.She asks the shop assistant, ‘What is that?’The assistant… Read More »What’s that shiny object?
My son was bullied so I told him to handle it like Michael Jackson.
“You just gotta look that asshole right in the eye.”
Don’t let anyone else tell you what you think of TROS
I went down the YouTube rabbit hole and found people changing what I thought about TFA. I was seeing problems I didn’t see whenever I… Read More »Don’t let anyone else tell you what you think of TROS
Being uncurious is knot asking questions at all
Wait I messed the joke up. Fuck
At a particular down point in my life, my mother told me “Remember, son, when one door closes, another one opens.”
I said “Mom, it doesn’t work that way in jail.”