As one cowboy’s horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the… Read More »It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter.
Christianity… because Jesus saves
Bartender asks “Why do you have a paper towel on your hat?”Pirate says “Arrgh, there be a Bounty on me head.”ThanksAlexa
2 out of every 3 voices inside of me says so.
Now. I didn’t realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me.… Read More »So I was driving uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at a college. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed
Because sin90 = cot45
Because although time may change him, he can’t change time.
The first sailor, with a smug look on his face, haughtily walks up to the captain and says “Obviously it’s RRRRRRR!”. The captain slowly shakes… Read More »A wise old pirate captain has captured a group of merchant sailors, but he tells them that he will spare their lives if they can answer a question: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
Every couple -my 8yr old daughters riddle
The bartender says: “Hello Officer, what would you like to drink?”
He jumped from the top of his ego.
The midget knight doesn’t seem to be frightened and proceeds to be in the position to fight. The big knight lunges towards him and gets… Read More »Before the swordfight could begin, one big ferocious knight displays a gigantic sword to his opponent, an unarmed midget-knight, and laughs at him
Rudolph’s nose.
The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.So he asks the class for an… Read More »Trump is visiting a school and walks into a classroom.
Runs in the family.
*me as a doctor * Me: Does it hurt? Mother: Yes Me: Now go vaccinate your kids or I’ll punch you again.
Well it’s that time of year again when the fat bastard with the beard brings around a load of shit presents….. Man, I hate the… Read More »JOKESTER
My son stands behind her and texts me what cards she’s got in her hand.
John: “Is there a problem officer?”Cop: “You exceeded 80 in 55 zone. May I see your license?”John: “ahhhh, why don’t I spare you the trouble,… Read More »John gets pulled over on the highway for speeding…
Nothing, it’s on the house.
Got some sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion.He slept with 1… Read More »Got some sad news today
I feel like I’m coming down with something
-0.89594417018= cos(789)
Running a 2070 super.
A man goes to the doctor and complains, “Doc I don’t know why but every morning before I leave for work I dry heave and… Read More »A man goes to the doctor for stomach and throat problems.