institution
Someone once said to me, “You’re insane! You should be in an institution!” I said to them, “I’m married” You know what they say, marriage… Read More »institution
thefun
Michelle
Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.
My daughter asked me why I haven’t been reading my texts…..
My daughter asked me why I haven’t been reading my texts….. I figured if they were important, the NSA would tell me!!
cheapest
I wish I didn’t buy the cheapest GPS they had. It’s just a woman’s voice, telling me to pull over and ask for directions.
no excuse
Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first…
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people that send me a dollar.
more beer
At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…
lower
Women may not hit harder, but they do hit lower.
behind
Behind every great woman is a man who loves doggy style.
finally
I can’t be sure if my vegetarian neighbors are having sex or finally decided to eat bacon…