conclusion
How do we know that Cinderella was written by a women? Because if it was written by a guy the prince would have fucked her… Read More »conclusion
thefun
I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs.
I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs. If I wanted someone to flash their tits, come on to me, take my money, then… Read More »I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs.
except
I just explained Google images to my mum. ‘Pick anything to search for’, I said. She replied ‘What about a nice cream pie?’. ‘Except that.’… Read More »except
clinomania
Teacher: “Why were you absent yesterday? Were you sick?” Me: “Yeah, i was sick with Clinomania.” Teacher: ” Oh, okay. Excused.” Clinomania:(n) excessive desire to… Read More »clinomania
so hard
Mom: “Shouldn’t you be cleaning your room?” Me: “Shouldn’t you be in the Kitchen?” I’ve never been hit so hard.
always
I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.
Hello
I got sent out of class once at school. The teacher shouted at me, “what would your parents say if I called them?” “Umm… Hello?”
question
Seriously, what if the astroid that hit Earth and killed all the dinosaurs was a UFO……. ……. and we’re the aliens……
familiar
Is it just me or the words “Lawyer” and “Liar” sound a bit too familiar….??
My wife said that I should use the term ‘make love’ instead of…
My wife said that I should use the term ‘make love’ instead of ‘fuck.’ What the make love is she talking about?
difference
Men look at a woman’s behind and go “Wow, what an ass!” Women look at a man’s face and think the same…
italicized
The leaning tower of Pisa is in Italy. I guess you could say it’s…. italicized.
barter
I told my son about the birds and the bees today. He told me about Mom and the mailman
surprice
So I got a job at McDonald’s recently, and I spent the whole day giving out fake engagement rings with couples’ meals. Best Valentines Day… Read More »surprice
already
My doctor said that jogging could add years to my life. I didn’t believe him at first, but I went yesterday and I feel ten… Read More »already
on the phone
I heard your house was robbed last week. Are you okay? I heard the robber said you could give him your phone or a blowjob.… Read More »on the phone
difference
Im not saying you shouldnt trust the internet but there is a huge differance between the number of ipads I won and the number of… Read More »difference
do you want?
I just bought a 3D Printer, who wants one? I’ll print you one out.
matches
North Korea Decided Not To Firing Rockets… No One Couldn’t Find The Matches…
movie
A drunk guy was with his girlfriend in a cinema and suddenly, he fell asleep.After a while, he woke up and started screaming ‘MY PENIS,MY… Read More »movie
caller id
the caller I.D. says “unavailable” …then so am I
either
If money can’t make you happy, you won’t like poverty either.
she will tell you
“Dad…” “What?” “How do you know when you’ve met the right woman?” “They tell you, son.”
Him: What are you up to?
Him: What are you up to? Me: Looking at cakes. Him: What’s the occasion? Me: I love cake.
while I sleep
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
nobody
nce, there was this guy, who personally felt that he has committed lots of sin and therefore decided to visit a church and confess all… Read More »nobody
next generation
Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying. “You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox’s, PS3’s,… Read More »next generation
License For Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him ‘Buddy’ or ‘Lassie’. I call mine ‘Sex’. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.… Read More »License For Sex
advise
Never get into an arm wrestling match with a guy who has been alone for 6 months
heaven
She calls it the silent treatment, I call it heaven on earth.