So this guy at my school wanted to do cheerleading but it’s not co-ed and everyone was calling him gay. They said that wrestling was… Read More »So this guy at my school wanted to do cheerleading but it’s not…
Heard on the radio today that global warming is being caused by methane emissions from cows. Does this mean scientists are finally admiting global warming… Read More »bullshit
When women have a few cocktails, they often discuss a few cock tales.
I’ve been married to my wife ten years today. Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication. I don’t know how… Read More »dedication
I sell security alarms door to door, and I’m really good at it. I mean if they aren’t home…. I just leave a brochure on… Read More »salesman
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures!
Most womens G-spots are located about 2 inches inside a mans wallet.
My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other — so now it’s just a waiting game.
Drinking coffee with no caffeine is like masturbating with a condom on.
My wife was complaining that I never lift a finger around the house. So I did, The middle one.
Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you’re up all night.
Oh,you want proof that prayer doesn’t work? just look at the middle east
Q: Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone? A: He was too busy playing the hormonica
If you like to listen to music while having sex. Play a live album. That way you get an applause every 4 minutes.
Ladies! Men don’t suffer from premature ejaculation. You do.
Logic: 1.The Government can access any personal info sent over smartphones. 2.Teenagers send each other nudes. 3. The Government is full of giant pervs.
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. …Alcohol gives you 1 in 5.
Someone once said to me, “You’re insane! You should be in an institution!” I said to them, “I’m married” You know what they say, marriage… Read More »institution
Got up extra early to shave my legs because I’m gonna order pizza now. I watch a lot of porn.
My daughter asked me why I haven’t been reading my texts….. I figured if they were important, the NSA would tell me!!
I wish I didn’t buy the cheapest GPS they had. It’s just a woman’s voice, telling me to pull over and ask for directions.
Me: is there a problem officer? Cop: I noticed the vehicle swerving a lot. Me: I had 8 beers officer. Cop: that’s no excuse to… Read More »no excuse
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people that send me a dollar.
At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…
Women may not hit harder, but they do hit lower.
Behind every great woman is a man who loves doggy style.
I can’t be sure if my vegetarian neighbors are having sex or finally decided to eat bacon…
At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually… Read More »party problem
The internet is full of cats because dog lovers actually go outside.
Never go at the first call of : “Dinner is ready!” It is a trap for you to prepare the table.