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My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building…
My wife just recently completed a 40-week body building course…It’s a boy and he weighs 11lbs 4oz
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How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy…
How do you cancel an appointment with a Sperm Bank?It’s easy… You just tell them you can’t come!
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My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome…
My wife asked me which of her friends I want to have a threesome with.
Apparently, I wasn’t supposed to pick two of them.
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I got caught masturbating to an optical illusion I said “it’s…
I got caught masturbating to an optical illusion
I said “it’s not what it looks like”
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I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
I don’t care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!
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So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance…
So, I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have a life insurance
He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am gone”
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My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad.
My favourite childhood memory is making mud pies with my grandad. Until mom found out and hid the urn.
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I went for a tattoo.
I told the tattooist that I wanted a tattoo of an Indian on my back.Half way through I said “put a tomahawk in his right hand.”
“Tomahawk.?” “I have just finished his turban.”
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I hate double standards.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.”
Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
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Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them…
Why do Welsh people immediately fall asleep when you ask them how many sexual partners they’ve had?
Because it’s well known that counting sheep helps you nod off more quickly.
Jokes
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