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Jokes

  • party problem

    At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

  • explanation

    The internet is full of cats because dog lovers actually go outside.

  • Never go at the first call of : “Dinner is ready!” It is a trap…

    Never go at the first call of : “Dinner is ready!” It is a trap for you to prepare the table.

  • Saying “MY team won” after watching the game is like saying “I…

    Saying “MY team won” after watching the game is like saying “I had sex with that woman” after a porno.
    YOU just sat on the couch. Sooo… STFU!!

  • pills

    My wife said “get some of those pills that help you get an erection”,
    should have seen her face when I tossed her the diet pills.

  • question

    How did Jesus find guys named Peter, John, James, Thomas and Simon in the Middle East?

  • temporary

    I don’t think they should put “out of order” signs on escalators when they’re broken. Instead they should have a sign that says “temporarily stairs.”

  • with knive

    When I see names carved into a tree I don’t think it’s cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date…

  • chuck

    when Britney spears sang “Hit me baby one more time” she wasn’t talking to chuck norris cause if chuck Norris hits someone there isn’t another time!

  • weird

    Giving a girl flowers is weird…
    “here, I killed these for you… I saw them, and, they reminded me of you so… I killed them. You should put them in water if you want them to… die slower”