Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
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offshore
I’ve deposited so much sperm in the sperm bank..
I’ve had to open up an Offshore Wank account..
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lack of evidence
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled
“You’re being charged for being good in bed…”
After 2 minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.
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A sign at my local swimming pool: WELCOME TO OUR OOL NOTICE…
A sign at my local swimming pool:
WELCOME TO OUR OOL
NOTICE THERE IS NO P IN IT, WE WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT
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incomplete
According to the Institute of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10 people…
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A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer’s assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.
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red duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Paul, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, “Paul, how many times have you seen a red duck?”
Young Paul replied with, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding a freaking umbrella.”
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well done
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.
“Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?”
“I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the waiter. “I hardly ever get a compliment.”
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waiting
No, standing as close to me as you possibly can, will not make the line move faster.
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ptotoshop
If you drink enough, your brain starts photoshopping people!
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Welcome to Russia