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Jokes

  • advice

    I ignored my doctor’s advice and ended up in hospital.
    I maybe should have stopped banging his wife.

  • wrong

    I just bought an answering machine and it doesn’t work. Or maybe I’m just asking it the wrong questions.

  • absolutely

    I’m absolutely awesome in bed…
    Yesterday, I slept in until 2pm!!

  • I will..

    The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

  • Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.

    Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.

  • Colbie

    I learn from the mistakes of others who have taken my advise.

  • your turn

    A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. Boob: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I am the greatest. Vagina: That’s nothing, I give birth to babies and can accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I am the greatest.

    Why are you scrolling down? It’s your turn to speak!

  • songs

    Some historians believe the word “Love” stems from an old Viking word meaning “Vagina”. With this in mind, lets take a look at some song titles and see how it changes their meaning.

    1.) Sugababes – My Love is Pink
    2.) Bee Gees – How Deep is Your Love? 3.) Elvis Presley – A Big Hunk of Love 4.) The Beatles – All You Need is Love 5.) Bellamy Brothers – Let Your Love Flow 6.) J Geils – Love Stinks 7.) Leona Lewis – Bleeding Love 8.) Barry White – Can’t Get Enough of Your Love.

  • special day

    I lost my job and my wife on the same day.

    …Thank you Mega millions

  • who tf

    So after my prostate exam the doctor left and the nurse came in a few seconds later and uttered the 5 words noone ever wants to hear “who the fuck was that?”