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advice
Be yourself.
Unless you want to be with me. Then be what I want. At the exact moment that I want it.
– All women
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what to do
After spending every spare minute of the last ten years trying to perfect my cloning machine, I finally cracked it last night.
Now I don’t know what to do with myself.
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smudge
Now that most computers have touchscreens, websites should make their advertising links look like smudges.
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“People should just mind their own business,” probably the…
“People should just mind their own business,” probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read on a social networking site.
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Classic- “Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite…
Classic-
“Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I’ll be watching you.”
-The Dog
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revenge
A bird shat on my arm. So naturally I wiped it off with a piece of bread and fed it to the bastard. Check mate mother fucker.
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The sight of a woman’s cleavage reduces a man’s ability to think…
The sight of a woman’s cleavage reduces a man’s ability to think clearly by 50%
Per boob.
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I put “your name” on my paper and when the teacher said “who put…
I put “your name” on my paper and when the teacher said “who put your name on their paper?” everybody raised their hands.
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“My dad says, you can check my computer.
“My dad says, you can check my computer. Is that right, Mr. Obama?”
“He’s not your dad.”
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I will be answering all questions…with my middle fiinger today
i will be answering all questions…with my middle fiinger today
Jokes
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