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Jokes

  • suddenly

    I took off my boyfriend’s glasses last night and said, “Wow, you’re stunning!”
    He said, “And so are you….

    …suddenly.”

  • fantasy

    My husband asked me to dress up as a nurse tonight to fulfill his fantasy…
    that we have health insurance. 

  • awkward

    There’s nothing more awkward than beating your family on a Wii game that requires the remote to be vigorously jerked back and forth, only for your mother to ask you “Have you been practicing?”

  • nice…

    Pick-up line:
    “I think it’s high time someone came over here and told you what everyone has been saying about you behind your back.”
    “And what is that?”
    “Nice ass!”

  • confused

    Ladies..Men think with their penis… So if you see one scratching their crotch,  it means they’re confused.

  • I just made a sex tape. but I guess Home Alone is already taken.

    I just made a sex tape.

    but I guess Home Alone is already taken.

  • like mal nipple

    Religion is like the male nipple:

    It has survived years of human evolution despite having no useful purpose.

  • How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb? 5, one to screw it in, and four to sing about how much they miss the old one.

  • I read somewhere that 37 is too old to still be living with your…

    I read somewhere that 37 is too old to still be living with your parents.
    It was on a note, in my bedroom.

  • no, I am not

    My friend said im trivial and boring.

    Funny thing, Did you know the word ‘trivia’ has an interesting origin story.