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Jokes

  • choose

    There are two ways to avoid hangovers:
    1* Don’t drink
    2* Don’t stop

  • secret

    You know what Victoria’s Secret is.. Over charging you for a tiny piece of fabric that can be pushed aside by a tongue.

  • I hate people who claim to be helping me but then steal my money !

    I hate people who claim to be helping me but then steal my money !

    Bloody bank !

  • the future

    My art teacher told us to draw what the future would look like. Everyone drew flying cars and spaceships. I drew a shell gas station with $15.00 a gallon.

  • My new pool boy obviously hasn’t watched enough porn to know the…

    My new pool boy obviously hasn’t watched enough porn to know the real reason I hired him.

  • O, shit…

    My grandad asked me what I wanted for my birthday so I told him a ship in a bottle… Shame his hearing is getting bad.

  • cheers

    Here’s to our wives and girlfriends!…..
    may they never meet!

  • advice

    To my future kids:
    You are gonna start out with a flip phone,I don’t care if the Galaxy S10 is out,you are gonna know the struggle.

  • prank

    It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.

  • reason

    Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia…. I can’t sleep because I have internet.