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Jokes

  • true love

    If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

    The swallow.

  • entertainment

    Me: Dad does mom ever get jealous?
    Dad: Your mom doesn’t mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.

  • question

    I’ve been with my girlfriend for around 4 years, so last night I finally popped the question.

    …Why the fuck are we still together?

  • make fun

    I tried to convince my little girl that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poo your pants.

    …But she didn’t buy it. She’s still making fun of me.

  • self checkout

    The self checkout was invented by a man who was sent to the store to buy tampons.

  • device

    Ever heard about the device that converts thoughts into speech?

    It’s called Alcohol..

  • never tell

    One thing my old Dad always said to me: Son, never explain yourself to anyone.
    He never did tell me why.

  • r.i.p.

    As the inventor of the computer mouse has died I can just imagine how his funeral will be.

    Drag and drop.

  • modern

    Me at art gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art.
    Art dealer : I beg your pardon Sir, that’s a mirror ..

  • do you have an opinion?

    Opinions are like orgasms. Mine’s more important and I dont care if you have one.