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Jokes

  • ACTUAL ORIGINAL JOKE:

    A kid and his father were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, the 6 year old son turns to address his father on his left and exclaims, “Daddy, that man’s wiener is a lot bigger than yours!” The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at the father. So he put his hand around his kid and told him “Well son, that’s because daddy isn’t aroused by men.”

  • prefer

    Actually officer, I prefer to think scotch smells like me.

  • camouflage

    What if aliens designed their spaceships to look like airplanes?

  • send by vde

    It took 4 days to create the Earth and only 1 day to create every other galaxy (Bible calls them stars). That is why there is no life anywhere else.

  • too serious

    I was in a serious relationship once. We never even smiled.

  • if you know what i mean

    I’ve been called sugar, pumpkin, honey, cupcake, sweets…all kinds of damn food. I’m a girl, dammit. Eat me.

  • they want…

    “Siri, what do women want?”
    She hasn’t shut up in 3 days.

  • Friday night

    It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again…

  • anything

    They told me I could be anything, so I became a submarine.

    – Titanic

  • example

    My son asked me what was like to be married…

    So I deleted all the songs on his ipod and left only one.. that should give him a pretty good idea.