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Jokes

  • Officer: “Blow into this” JB: *starts unzipping officers pants*…

    Officer: “Blow into this”
    JB: *starts unzipping officers pants*
    Officer: “No! No! WTF!?”

  • don’t forget

    A very attractive young woman came up to me today and asked me to get her a drink.
    Then I remembered.
    I was serving behind the bar.

  • what to say

    I got fired at work today.
    My boss said my communication skills were awful.
    I didn’t know what to say to that.

  • texting

    I am surprised my girlfriend failed her driving test.

    She texted me like 3 times telling me everything was going good.

  • everything

    Our little girl is growing up! Monica Lewinsky turned 50 recently.

    It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, putting everything in her mouth.

  • good signal

    Just as I was thinking that technology ruined the art of conversation, my date looked up at me and smiled.

    “This is a fantastic restaurant,” she said. “The WiFi signal is brilliant.”

  • “Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” -How ballet was…

    “Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” -How ballet was invented.

  • taste

    I have good taste I just don’t have the money to prove it!

  • who is first?

    If their a pic of the making of the world’s first camera. Which camera took the pic of the world’s first camera?

  • What is a Jehovah’s witness favorite band?

    What is a Jehovah’s witness favorite band? The Doors.