Skip to content

Jokes

  • never

    I might be going to hell, but my at least my coffee will never get cold.

  • reward

    If I find out who sent my wife a large bouquet of flowers today, I’m going to beat their ass.

    ….The stupid bitch thought it was me and now wants to reward me with sex.

  • Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn’t even listening to you.

    Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn’t even listening to you.

  • I Gave your girlfriend an oral mammogram.

    I Gave your girlfriend an oral mammogram.

  • remaining

    Yawning is your bodies way of saying 20% battery remaining.

  • trying

    I will never forget my teachers.. but I will keep on trying.

  • the first

    Barack Obama….
    The first black presidennt and he starts selling weed.

  • t-shirt

    A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth… and on the back:…and I will fill your cavity.

  • I was going to go to the gym but I got exhausted trying to…

    I was going to go to the gym but I got exhausted trying to parallel parking.

  • freak

    No, I don’t want to come to your cat’s birthday party…you freak. My dog’s getting married that weekend.