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Jokes

  • element

    I’ve been suspended from school for another three days.
    When my science teacher asked me what my favourite element was, karate chopping her and saying “Element of Surprise” was wrong.

  • check

    I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for an MRI to find out if I’m claustrophobic.

  • fun fact

    Fuck a woman and she’ll love you…love a woman and she’ll fuck you!

  • complaint

    I’m absolutely disgusted! Easter is almost over and I can’t find any christmas cards on sale yet.

  • in my

    There’s a part of me that just wants to be loved…

    and it’s in my pants.

  • A little boy was lost in a large mall.

    A little boy was lost in a large mall. He approached a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?” The little boy replied, “Beer and women with big tits.”

  • alarm clock

    I don’t really like the term “Morning Wood.”

    I prefer to call it “Jodi’s Alarm Cock.”

  • question

    What’s black and begins with “Nig”?

    Night. You racist bitch

  • for patent

    Bartenders should put a pink straw in every women’s fourth drink.

    This would be a signal for men that she is ready.

  • virus

    A highly dangerous virus called “Weekly Overload Recreational Killer” (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus you should immediately go to the nearest “Biological Anxiety Relief” (BAR) center to take antidotes
    known as “Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract” (WINE), “Radioactive UnWork Medicine” (RUM), “Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter” (BEER), or “Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen” (VODKA).
    Please rate to raise awareness.