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Jokes

  • reminder

    Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife.　　　　　　　　
    I was unbuttoning her blouse the other day, and she said, “Remember, you have a wife.”

  • boring

    You`re so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn`t come back to you.

  • new way

    ‘Lite’, the new way to spell ‘light’, now with 20% fewer letters.

  • True fact

    High heels were originally created for men. Butchers used them to avoid stepping in blood.

    They were also used as weapons befor they became fashion accessories.

  • actually

    I love the internet becuase its the one place where people from all different cultures can socialize and share ideas and…….wait, which folder did my porn download to?!?!

  • Busy hands

    My son came home from school the other day with a massive bIack eye…

    I said, “Where the fùck did you get that from?”
    “Billy had a plank of wood in his hand and hit me in the face!” He replied I said, “Well, why didn’t you have something in your hand son?” “I did… his girlfriend’s tits!”

  • the first

    Kid: God made the first man and woman right?
    Pastor: Indeed
    Kid: And they were naked in this garden, right?
    Pastor: Well, yes Kid: And God watched them, right? Pastor: Naturally. Kid: So God invented porno, right? Pastor:…..

  • replacement

    The ‘L’ in my luck has been replaced with an ‘F’.

  • funny

    The Internet is a funny place man. 1 minute you’re checking your e-mail, and next thing you know it’s 4 hours later, your pants are around your ankles and you’re deleting your browser history.

  • birthday

    I’m sorry for getting so drunk on your birthday that people thought it was my birthday.