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Jokes

  • a boy

    A note to all the strippers out there.
    Bambi was a boy.

  • We’ll see

    ” how old are you?” I asked my husband’s mistress.
    ” 20, I will be 21 in a few days!”
    ” Yeah we’ll see ” I smiled

  • First Lady on the Moon

    Lady: Houston! We have a problem!
    NASA: What’s the problem Captain? Lady: Never mind. It’s nothing. NASA: I repeat, what’s the problem? Lady: Nothing everything is fine! NASA: Captain, we have to know. Lady: You know what the problem is!?!? NASA: We need you to tell us Captain! Lady: If you cared, you wouldn’t need to ask! NASA: I repeat, what’s your status, Captain? Lady: Just drop it! You wouldn’t understand!

  • I’ve just seen a massive rat in Pizza Hut.

    I’ve just seen a massive rat in Pizza Hut.

    He was picking up an order for the Ninja Turtles.

  • not bad

    I’m not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?

  • Reasons

    Some people won’t try bacon for religious reasons
    I won’t try religion for bacon reasons

  • Where is the boss

    Last year everyone made a huge deal about The Pope resigning. To be honest I don’t blame him.

    I’d leave my job too if my boss never showed up.

  • Last year I joined a support for antisocial people, We haven’t…

    last year I joined a support for antisocial people, We haven’t met yet.

  • Delicious

    She was amazing, so firm, so beautiful. Her legs were long and perfectly formed, her breasts were so full and juicy. I laid her down, studied every inch of her, pressed my lips to her hot body. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced before, my heart still races at the thought of her smell, her taste, the way she felt in my hands…
    It was, without a doubt, the most amazing chicken dinner I’ve ever had.  

  • Difference

    When men drink, they talk too much, drive badly, and pick fights for no reason.
    Women do all of these things while sober.