Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
Popular collections: 100 dad jokes · 100 husband and wife jokes · 88 walks into a bar jokes · 86 office jokes · 72 computer jokes · 68 funny animal jokes · 64 medical jokes · 60 Christmas jokes
-
Oral skills
I remember back in High School, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was “Hitler’s oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement”.
-
“Do not fall in love with people like me.
“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”
-
No replace
When asked if online comics would replace actual comic books, Stan Lee said, “Comic books are like boobs. They look great on a computer, but I’d rather hold one in my hand.”
-
Explain
It would be difficult to explain a fountain to someone from the 3rd world. “This is our water showing off contraption… we also throw our extra money in it”
-
Best joke
The postman told me he’s off to Spain tomorrow so I asked if he was going to Parcelona and he ignored what I believe to be my best joke of 2014.
-
Finger
Me: “Hey babe, I’m at the hospital, I cut off my finger.”
Wife: “Oh no, the whole finger?”
Me:”No, no…the one next to it.”
-
Direction
I went in a CD store and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records.
“Walk this way,” he replied.
-
Do you know the relationship between two eyes?
They never see each other…BUT
1. They blink together.
2. They move together. 3. They cry together. 4. They see together. 5. They sleep together. They share a very deep bonded relationship. However, when they see a pretty woman, one will blink and another will not… Moral of the story: A pretty woman can break any relationship.
-
Difference
“I’ve got a boyfriend,” is a woman’s’s way of saying fuck off and leave me alone.
“I’ve got a girlfriend,” is a man’s way of proposing a threesome.
-
Complaint
When I die, I’m not going to Heaven or Hell, I’m going to the Complaint Department.