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Jokes

  • I have only one word for women that want to treat me like a sex…

    I have only one word for women that want to treat me like a sex object…

    Hey

  • I’m never really sure if I have free time, or if I’m just…

    I’m never really sure if I have free time, or if I’m just forgetting all the shit I’m supposed to be doing.

  • How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?

    How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis…..LADDER! I mean ladder!!

  • Don’t hate me because I’m handsome, stick around, I’ll give you…

    Don’t hate me because I’m handsome, stick around, I’ll give you plenty of other legitimate reasons.

  • JOKESTER

    “Your underwear is too tight and very revealing” I said to my wife

    She said, “Wear your own then dickhead” ?

  • JOKESTER

    Her: Do these jeans make my ass look big?
    Me: Not at all. Your ass make those jeans look small.

  • JOKESTER

    “Oh fine, I’ll just have one bite”.

    Narrator: ” He was, in fact, about to have more than just one bite. He was about to eat the whole fucking thing”.

  • JOKESTER

    Girlfriend: I’m going to leave you if you don’t stop wearing different clothes every hour.
    Me: Wait pleeeease ‼‼ l can change.

  • JOKESTER

    “oh, and another thing”

    ~ women 3 days after the argument is over

  • JOKESTER

    A man wakes up in a hospital bed…

    The nurse says, I have some bad news. You won’t be able to feel anything from the waist down.”

    The man says, “Can I feel your boobs then?”

    ☠?☠