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Barcelona came to Anfield 4 nothing..
Barcelona came to Anfield 4 nothing..
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Teacher: Your daughter said the F word in class.
Teacher: Your daughter said the F word in class.
Me: Well…She didn’t fucking learn it from me.
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The only advantage other people have over me is that they can…
The only advantage other people have over me is that they can kiss my ass and I can’t.
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I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said,…
I phoned a Chinese Restaurant last night and the man said, “harrow, I’m Wang Kin the Chef”
I said, “No worries mate, I’ll call back later!”
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It’s not about how many times you fall.
It’s not about how many times you fall. It’s about how many times you get back up.
Cop: That’s not how field sobriety tests work, sir.
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If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my…
If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks….Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.
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Boss: You’re doing great!
Boss: You’re doing great! Keep doing what you’re doing.
Me: I wish I knew what I was doing.
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Me: Do you want me to look into your eyes when I stick it in my…
Me: Do you want me to look into your eyes when I stick it in my mouth?
Officer: Ma’am just blow into the breathalyzer please.
Jokes
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