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What does Jeffrey Epstein have in common with Christmas decorations?
They’re always hung way too early.
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I was just thinking of a color that doesn’t exist…
but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
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Why is a genie’s lower half transparent?
So you don’t see their Djinn-itals.
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I just read an article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
Turns out there’s a lot of cross referencing.
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I told my wife I was going to give her gold-medal sex.
She said, “Just once, could you give me silver-medal sex and finish second?”
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Amazon is launching a new personal assistant for people suffering from depression.
They are calling it Alexa Pro.
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If “going number 1” means “taking a pee”
Number 1 doesn’t mean shit.
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So there was this one prostitute that said she would do anything for money…
There were these really irritating guys that made me want to strangle the life out of their bodies. I asked her if she could beat the fuck out of them.So then she told me “i can’t do two jobs at once”
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I saw a few nuns at a bus stop…one of them was smoking a cigarette, one of them was wearing a beanie…
You could say they had a couple bad habits.
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This girl told me that she could suck me off inside my own head.
It was truly mind-blowing.