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Everyone talks about how trans people are the most marginalized
and it’s true. But trans fats are the most margerinized!
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Teacher – What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Student – I don’t know and I don’t care
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Why are balloons so damn expensive?
Because of inflation.
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Whats the deal with Jorge Elbrecht?
Why does he look like this now? Is it makeup or did something happen to the poor fella?
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How does Pink order takeout?
I’m comin’ up so you better get this pad-thai started.
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I love camping for one reason…
Because it’s in tents
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Why did Watson go to Los Angeles for his next case?
Because he was told that’s where he can find Holmes.
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Two Hobos
Two hobos were walking down the tracks. They encounter a mangy old dog sitting in the middle of the tracks, contorted into that weird position and licking his nuts. One hobo says wistfully, “Gee, I wish could do that.” His companion replies, “Well, maybe you should start by petting him first.”
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My kids asked, what was it like living in 60’s
So I took their phones and hid the modem