Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
Popular collections: 100 dad jokes · 100 husband and wife jokes · 88 walks into a bar jokes · 86 office jokes · 72 computer jokes · 68 funny animal jokes · 64 medical jokes · 60 Christmas jokes
-
When were the first hippies?
Back in the stoned age
-
Purple lemon
So this little boy is in the playground when some bullies come along, and they say to him:“Hey, purple lemon, you suck!”And the boy doesn’t know what a purple lemon is, so he asks. And the bullies say:“Well, you’ll just have to ask a teacher then, won’t you?”And so he goes and asks a teacher what a purple lemon is. “Go to the Headmaster!” She screeches.And he goes and asks the Head what a purple lemon is. “I’m sorry, but this is big, we’ll have to go to the police.” The Head replies sadly, calling 999.When the police arrive, the boy says: “But I just want to know what a purple lemon is!”And the police look at him, and take him back to their headquarters, where they call the army, and an army officer arrives. The boy, now in tears, asks; “But what’s a purple lemon?”The soldier looks to the policemen, shakes his head and takes the boy to go see a general.“I only asked about purple lemons.” The boy sobs.
-
Build a man a fire he’ll be warm for the rest of the night.
Light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
-
Why couldn’t the Grinch steal Christmas?
Because of the Santa clause.
-
What did Bob Ross refer to his children as?
Happy little accidents
-
Just finished the dishes and there are already more
It a dishes cycle.
-
Is your name medusa?
Because every time I look at you I get rock hard!
-
Party time.
So a man walks into a costume party, with a large semicircle around half his body, and strings across it. A woman walks up to him, and this conversation unfolds.Woman: what are you wearing?Man : I’m a harp of courseWoman: but your costume is too small to be a harp.Man: are you…calling me a lyre?!
-
So there’s these three guys coming out of the golf clubhouse on a Friday night.
The gentlemen see a lady shooting left-handed on the practice green nailing 20 foot putts like it was nothing, so the guys ask, “Hey do you want to play a quick round?”The Lady replies, “Sorry fellas, I just finished playing, but if you come back tomorrow morning at 10:00am, we can play a round.. but i might be 15 minutes late.”The men are all in agreement and show up the next morning at 10:00am and there is the lady waiting, right on time. So they all go to tee off, and the lady is shooting right-handed this time. The guys all notice and are a bit shocked but play on anyways.They get to the end of the round and the lady destroys them all. The men are a bit embarrassed and ask for a rematch. The lady replies, “Sure, tomorrow at 10:00am again… but i might be 15 minutes late.” The guys all find this a bit weird considering she said the same thing yesterday and was right on time.Anyways, they all show up at 10:00am and there the lady is again, right on time. Same as before, they go to tee off, but this time the lady is shooting left-handed again, the men don’t really know what to think of this.They get to 18th hole, and this round was even worse than the last day, the men didn’t stand a chance against her. So the lady asks, “One more round tomorrow?” with a wink. Then one man says, “sure, but i have to ask, what is with the switching of hands?”So the lady replies, “Well, when I wake up in the morning I look at my husband’s penis, if it’s laying to the left then I shoot left-handed, and if its laying to the right I shoot right-handed.”One guy thinks hes being smart, he speaks up and says, “So what if it’s sticking straight up??” and the men all laugh.The Lady replies, “Well that’s when I’m 15 minutes late.”