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In Italy, children don’t leave milk and cookies for Santa.
Instead, they leave him elfredo.
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If I purchased some land for you near a swamp…
then I’d make sure to buy you a bayou by you then say, “bye you”
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Yo mama so dumb…
She thought blender was a cooking app!
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I’ve recently been asking people what LGBTQ means
No ones been able to give me a straight answer yet
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I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict.
So I’m going home for the hollandaise.
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A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:
A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers: “If your skirt is long, stay away from the engines and If it is short, stay away from the engineers.
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DO NOT TRANSLATE “SURFACE” INTO SWEDISH ?????
Please sweden I didn’t do anything
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The tallest animals in the zoo don’t even want to be there…
They were giraffeted.
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2 drunkards walking down a street and suddenly sidestep a pile of runny brown on the pavement
One says ‘what a waste, a good helping of peanut butter thrown on the street’The other says ‘pff that’s not peanut butter! It’s obviously a side of lentil curry’The first dips a finger and takes a taste, ‘hmm maybe you’re right it’s not peanut butter’The other tries some too ‘damn it it’s not lentil curry either’A passerby intervenes and shouts ‘Hey!! What are you doing?! That’s a pile of shit you’re tasting!!!’‘OH MY GOD!’ They exclaimed ‘What a relief we almost stepped in it!’
Jokes
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