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Jokes

  • When you click on clickbait…

    They had us in the first half, I’m not gonna lie.

  • Two midgets were having a discussion one night about their ever dwindling memories of the last time they had sex.

    They came to a unanimous decision that they would pay a visit to a couple of prostitutes at a local whorehouse they had found out about.They arrived at the whorehouse later on that night and each made their choices of prostitute and then headed off with their ladies of the night into two bedrooms which were situated next door to each other.The first midget, John, hurriedly stripped off all of his clothes as there was no time to waste. Unfortunately he encountered a problem, he was unable to get an erection. The prostitute did everything she was capable of to rectify the problem, but nothing would work!To make matters worse, all he could hear from his mate Gary next door, was one-two-three uhh, one-two-three uhh all night long.The next morning after an unsuccessful night John left the room, as he did so he bumped into Gary leaving his room.” What kind of night did you have ? ” John asked Gary ” I don’t want to talk about it “ Gary replied angrily “ What are you so upset about, I couldn’t get a hard-on all night “ John replied “ A hard on? ” said Gary, ” I couldn’t even get on the damn bed! “

  • I saw two guys wearing matching outfits and I asked if they were a couple…

    they arrested me !

  • Fighter subclass – The Weapons and Armor Master (Exotic Weapons included + Bonus Ghost-Faced Killer subclass)

    Weapons and Armor MasterExotic WeaponsGreetings players and DMs! I have here some updates to a subclass for the Fighter. You’ll also see another subclass included, the Ghost-Faced Killer. Feel free to comment on that as well.This subclass also utilizes Exotic Weapons, therefor I have created an Exotic Weapons table as well. Exotic Weapons all have the Special property, which gives them more uses in combat and attempts to separate them from PHB weapons. All Exotic Weapons exist already in the game in some form or another, mostly as weapons wielded by monsters. However, this class does leans on these weapons existing in the campaign, and they require proficiency to use to their full potential.Looking for your input, feedback, and constructive criticism regarding these options! Thanks!

  • Has anyone of you been affected by minister Saab’s convoy?

    Posting the same from r/Hyderabad.I was at kbr for an evening walk. It was around 7, and that’s usually the busiest hour. Roads were jammed as usual but still flowing in an intermediate pace. I was walking in the walkway outside the park so road no 2 was clearly visible. After a while I see both the lanes (to and fro) … empty. I had no clue what was happening and then came forth two police Innovas followed by idk which ministers convoy. They stopped both the lanes! That happened for a good 15 minutes or so and then they let shit slide. Rest is history … Got stuck in traffic and it took me 30 mins past my usual time to reach home.Share your stories and how VVIP culture has affected you.

  • So for Christmas I asked my brother to switch our names and lifestyles for a week….

    Little did he know I was waay up on Santa’s naughty list

  • How do you start a bear race?

    Ready, teddy, go.

  • What’s the difference between a vegetarian salad, and one with chicken?

    The chicken salad has a lot more body

  • Robin Williams got a new belt but he didn’t really like it

    Yeah, he was really hung up on it

  • How to make crime rates drop to 0%?

    They would. If government makes everything legal.