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Jokes

  • A son asks his father what is the meaning of “in practice” and “in theory”

    “Il show you son. Call your sister.” Says the father”Daughter would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes of course, that is a once in a life time opportunity!” Answers the daughter”Okay son now call your grandmother” Says the father”Grandma would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes I would! I would do it for you so the family can thrive financially!” Answers the grandmother”Okay son now call your mother” Says the father”Wife, would you sleep with a man for a million dollars?” Asks the father”Yes! We could buy a bigger house and have loads of vacations!” Answers the motherThe father looks at his son and responds “See son, in theory, we are millionaires but in practice 3 whores live in our house!”


  • T-Boned by a Police Officer who was placed at fault for the crash the city attorney denied my claim both medical and property what are my options now?

    As I said above in October a police officer ran a red light tboning me and one other driver. No lights were seen or sirens heard by anyone. I need to know some options that might make results quicker then a long drawn out legal battle. Also it’s not an option to go through my insurance so please don’t suggest it.


  • Hab nem Kollegen nen Limonadenwitz erzählt

    Den Fanta lustig


  • Looking for an active clan with decent/above average/competitive ranges players to play with.

    Seriously. All these recommended clans are super inactive and the players are generally Rookie IV or something. I need better teammates for ranked. (Am Pro II (rank protection atm though), ign Iltoid)


  • Aluminum suppressor?

    I’m looking into form 1(ing) a can for my 6.5cm but the only “fuel filter” I can find is aluminum. My better judgment suggests that 7075 aluminum ain’t up to the task of controlling 6.5cm. I’m not going to buy a $500 piece of titanium. Steel will do.


  • A sticky solution to a sticky problem.

    Did you hear about the Math professor who had a constipation problem?He got it worked out…. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


  • Disrespectful kid gets slapped by detroit OG

    View CommentsPlay0:000:00SettingsFullscreen


  • The content of your reddit post is less important than your timing

    I’ve seen absolute gold posted when the USA is asleep, which goes nowhere, and average content posted at the start of the US day that goes platinum.I think it’s because the audience across Australia, Asia and Europe is so culturally, languageally (yeah I know linguically is a word but I’m making a new one, fight me) and ethnically diverse that even if you find an audience that relates to your content, they are too far apart geographically to get your post anywhere near the threshold for Hot.Case in point: it’s 4pm where I am posting this (Melbourne, Australia), 6am in central Europe , midnight in DC and 9pm in LA.Because of this, (and because its uninteresting garbage) I suspect this post will go nowhere.I will repost this tomorrow at a better time and see what the difference is as far as upvotes.


  • A lamb, a calf, and a kid are standing in the pasture.

    The lamb says, “My Dad is the best! He can grow a full coat of wool from scratch every day!”. The calf boasts, “That’s nothing! My Dad fought in the bullfights in Spain and killed 3 matadors!” The kid, looking unimpressed, says “That’s nothing! My Dad… is the GOAT!”


  • Bruno Mars defending Mars vs Elon Musk invading Mars

    Elon is trying to win the new space race but there’s a problem; Bruno already made it.Bruno gains the power of all his lyrics, and is assisted by all fictional Martians, from Martian Manhunter to the dude from Looney Toons.Elon Musk has all of Planet Earth to back him, as well as a top secret weapon; an elongated muskrat with all the powers of his Earth 616 counterpart; Tony Stark.Elon Musk is also backed by the New 52 Amazons, including Wonder Woman, as well as New 52 Aquaman and Atlantis.Both sides start on their planetsWho can conquer Mars and become the dominant power of the new era?Round 2: Loser gets Freddie Mercury with the power of all his lyrics, but he starts on Mercury. Previous winners all carry Mars bar chocolates they cant remove, and losers are Mars lusted in every sense (Mars is a British chocolate, dunno if USA dudes have it)