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Oysters
A man named John walked into a seafood restaurant, with his friend Patrick.It was John’s turn to pay, so he let Patrick order.Patrick ordered so much food that the total was going up to the two-hundreds of dollars.John was done with this, so he barged in and told the person at the counter:“Hey, I order Oysters Kilpatrick”
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OC. Nelly was busted with over a pound of solid crystal meth on his tour bus
I guess that’s where he got all of his andele in his E.I.. UH OOOOH!!!
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What did the man with colon cancer say when he was on wheel of fortune?
I’d like to buy a bowel.
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What do you get when cross Elton John with a sabertoothed tiger?
I don’t know, but you better keep it away from your ass
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A fisherman and his wife had two children: a boy and a girl.
They were deciding what to name the children, when the fisherman noticed that every time they stood on the balcony, the boy looked towards the ocean and the girl looked away from the ocean. So the boy was named Towards and the girl was named Away.Years later, the fisherman decided to take Towards and Away on their first fishing trip. A week after they left, the fisherman came back completely alone.”What happened to our children?” asked the fisherman’s wife.The fisherman burst into tears. “It was ghastly,” he said. “Three days into our voyage, an huge fish swallowed Towards whole. We pulled the enormous fish out of the ocean and cut it open, but our sweet little boy was already dead. We figured that at least we had caught a whopper, and the fish fed us for the rest of the trip.””That must have been one big fish,” said the wife.”You think that fish was big?” replied the husband. “You should have seen the one that got Away!”
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My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.
“Son, you’re going to have to stop money laundering.”
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Donald J. Trump has been impeached
Finally, something he’s earned
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I’m a literal genius. I finished this super hard puzzle in only 6 months!
The box said 2-4 years.
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What do you feel the real distribution of NTs is on a scale between “total assholes” and “basically cool?”
The recent drama over that “aspertards” set off a bit of a discussion where people pointed out that people who do things like that are a very small minority, and the vast majority of people are basically fine when it comes to autism.That got me wondering how people here tend to perceive NTs and their attitudes towards your autism. So from a scale of 1-5, with 1 being total assholes to 5 being basically cool about it where do you think NTs fall? To elaborate the scale:Basically straight out assholes who think you’re just a whiny, defective human being and any attempt on your part to feel good about yourself is just pretentious and needs to be viciously batted down until you feel like garbage againPeople who are shamed by peer pressure into hiding the fact that they think you’re retarded, but will say it outright if pressedPeople who don’t feel any particular way about autism and refuse to learn. They assume you don’t have problems, subconsciously find you off putting and eventually come to hate you due to a variety of low level social faux pas you’re not cognizant of. If you told them you’re autistic they’d just assume you were using it as an excusePeople who are are trying but doing it badly. Like, they look down on you, but more through the subtle bias of low expectations. They wouldn’t hire you for a job and won’t level with you on anything, but they’ll think they’re doing you a favor by acting that wayPeople who would actually take the knowledge that you’re autistic in a constructive way, who might actually try to appreciate where you’re coming fromMy own sense:1%9%50%30%10%