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Why did the Grinch go to the bottle store?
To find some Christmas spirit
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Trump gets Impeached
Me: The Senate will decide your fate. ignites lightsaber
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HMC, I will show you how to toss an ice cube
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You know what I hate?
People who answer their own questions. Utterly despise them.
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Two old men meet every morning on a park bench after religious services.
One day one of the old men shows up with a black eye.The other guy says “What happened”He says “ I was at mass, and a beautiful young woman was in the pew in front of me. About halfway through, I noticed her short skirt had gotten wedged in between her ass cheeks. After a while, I couldn’t help myself, so when we were kneeling, I reached over the back of the pew and just sort of tugged it out. She was horrified, and she turned around and belted me!”They both shrugged, and got on with their day.The next day, the man shows up with 2 black eyes!The other guy says “what happened this time?!?”He says..”same girl at mass this morning…short skirt…it gets wedged in between her ass cheeks. After a while, the guy next to me can’t take it anymore and reaches over and tugs it out. I knew she doesn’t like it like that, so I pushed it back in!”
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What do you call a Jewish Woman’s boobs?
Joobs(Yes I stole this from South Park)
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Oysters
A man named John walked into a seafood restaurant, with his friend Patrick.It was John’s turn to pay, so he let Patrick order.Patrick ordered so much food that the total was going up to the two-hundreds of dollars.John was done with this, so he barged in and told the person at the counter:“Hey, I order Oysters Kilpatrick”
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OC. Nelly was busted with over a pound of solid crystal meth on his tour bus
I guess that’s where he got all of his andele in his E.I.. UH OOOOH!!!
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What did the man with colon cancer say when he was on wheel of fortune?
I’d like to buy a bowel.
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What do you get when cross Elton John with a sabertoothed tiger?
I don’t know, but you better keep it away from your ass
Jokes
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