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Feeling amorous after a difficult day…
…the President hops into bed next to the first lady.She immediately lets out a shriek. “Christ!!! Your feet are cold!!!”He chuckles and replies “That’s OK honey…You can just call me Donald when we’re in bed.”
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After sending me a “free” Pixel 3aXL, Visible wrote to me asking to return my dead phone.
Wonder how’ll they’ll feel when I tell them my old phone is in a recycle bin somewhere. Should they have mentioned that they’d be wanting the dead phone back? What do you think they’ll do about it since I can’t return something I no longer have?
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VPNs are like Condoms
One leak and you could end up sentenced to at least 18 years.
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What did Donald Trump say to the guy who kept calling him an Orange?
I’m not an Orange.. Impeach.
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So when a girl tells her friend she has a great ass in that jeans it’s okay,
But when I tell my buddy the same thing I am ‘being inappropriate’ and I ‘should really close the coffin now’. The world we live in
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A boy asks his dad one day, “Dad, what’s the difference between confident and confidential?”
His dad replies, “Well, you’re my son – I’m confident about that. And your best friend Jimmy is also my son – that’s confidential.”
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My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!”
I thought that was a really odd way to start a conversation with me.
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– Please describe yourself with 10 words.
I am sorry, but I do not understand the question.
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I’m really worried about going to San Diego, Long Beach, Anaheim, and Los Angeles
I think I have SoCal anxiety.
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Uga Buga or Death?
Three men who travelled to explore Africa got kidnapped by a large African tribe. The kidnappers locked the three man in small cages and left them there with no food or water for 3 days.After the three days had passed, the entire tribe gathered around the cages. Their leader, a huge African man with no clothes approached the first man and asked him loudly: “Uga Buga… Or death?”The man was shocked he didn’t know what to say so the leader asked again: “Uga Buga… Or death?”Since the man didn’t want to die he said in fear: “I choose Uga Buga”The tribe’s leader cheered: “Uga Buga”, pulled the man out of his cage and f***ed him while the entire tribe cheers.After 3 hours the leader grew tired, he threw the man back to his cage and the entire tribe left as the man cried.A day has passed and the ceremony was repeated.The entire tribe gathered around the cages and the leader approached the second man and asked him: “Uga Buga… Or death?”The second man was scared but he didn’t want to die so he said: “Uga Buga”
Jokes
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