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Jokes

  • I ran a marathon for charity

    It was for kids with asthma, i easily finsihed 1st.

  • Quasimodo needed a sub bell ringer…

    Put an ad in the paper. No one showed up for weeks. Finally a knock on the door. Guy standing there with no arms. Quasi is incredulous, doesn’t think he can do it. Guy begs..”c’mon Quasi, give me a chance…as a handicapped person yourself, you know how hard it is to find work” Quasimodo says, “OK…it’s noon, let’s try you out” They reach the top of the bell tower, the guy crouches down, takes a running start and slams his forehead into the bell. BONG! By the time he hits it 12 times, he’s woozy. Dizzy. CTE symptoms. He stumbles, and falls off the tower and hits the ground. Splat. By the time Quasi gets down the stairs, a crowd has gathered. Someone asks “Does anyone know his name?” Quasi: “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell”

  • Flour, salt, and butter go to a dance.

    Butter sees flour and salt dancing in the corner.He walks over to them and asks, “can I cut in?”

  • A witch and her friend enter a race. When they get there, the witch’s ride is already there waiting for her. “Huh” the witch’s friend says. “I didn’t know you drive a stick.”

    “It’s a broom, actually.” She says.

  • I ain’t afraid of my wife!

    But don’t tell her I said that.

  • Two guys are going out to get breakfast. One asks “wanna get a bagel sandwich?”

    “A bagel sandwich? That’s way too much bread.”

  • I don’t have a girlfriend

    But I know someone who would be angry if they heard me say that.

  • Tragically, my Korean friend passed away this morning.

    He was So Yung.

  • What do you call a gay dog

    A golden receiver

  • There is no problem with boys and girls having different school dress codes

    I live in the UK, and there have been several recent cases where schoolboys have been allowed to wear skirts as part of their uniform, in one school a few dozen boys even came into school wearing skirts as a form of protest. At my high school there was also an incident a few years ago where a guy that wears makeup was asked to wash it off by one of the deputy heads, which upset a lot of the other students and many questioned why girls were allowed to wear makeup but he was not.Here’s the thing. School uniforms/dress codes by design are not supposed to facilitate self-expression, they are supposed to do the opposite. In addition to providing education itself, school prepares students for adult life in numerous ways such as teaching them how to work with others they did not choose, spending several hours a day doing something they may not necessarily want to and, most importantly for this thread, adhere to a dress code that might not align with their personal fashion choices.It’s a simple fact that in our culture men and women dress differently and that those who deviate from this and dress more like the opposite gender will raise eyebrows. If effeminate boys want to express themselves in how they dress in their own time, they can wear as much makeup as they want, but for their own sake they need to learn to conform with established school and workplace conventions. Not teaching them this does them a disservice.