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I bought some new brake pads imported from Israel
My car can now stop on a dime
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Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow
Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow during the dinner and got slapped upside the head by his father right away. But not hard. As was agreed
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Me:Bro ,why did you eat my pizza?
Friend:Does it have your name on it?Me:Well no, but what about your mom? I Don’t see your name anywhere on her body last night.Is she really your mom?Friend:Yeah,sorry bro.I treat you later.Wait, how did you know about my mom’s body?Me: …
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What’s one thing Trump and Jesus have in common?
They both hung out with prostitutes
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Someone left the zebras cage open in the middle of the night and he escaped and ran away to a local farm…
Early the next morning he approached an old hen saying,”What do you do around here?”The hen replied,”I lay eggs for the Farmers breakfast.”The zebra then walked over to the cow asking,””What do you do?””The Cow replied,”I give milk for the Farmers breakfast.”The zebra then spied an enormous bull and asked the same question.The bull look at the zebra with a quizzical smile and said,”Listen you queer ass, take off those faggy pajamas and I’ll show you what I do around here.”
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Whats the difference between you and a sick Mallard?
One’s a sick duck, the other’s a dick suck
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Knock knock
The Potter Household. Who is there? You know! You know who? Thats right. avada kedavra
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A drill sergeant took his platoon to a mine
They began training as usual, but as they got deeper into the mine, he began insulting them more personally than usual. Once they reached the bottom of the mine, one soldier couldn’t take any more and started lashing out at the sergeant.The other troops broke up the fight that ensued, and one of the soldiers finally decided to tell the sergeant:“I think you’re drilling a little too deep.”
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Sphinx: What has four legs in the morning, two at noon, and three at night?
Me: A radioactive vietnamese soldier.EDIT: Sphinx: No no he’s got a point.
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[QUESTION] Why is my Gretsch always out of tune?
It mostly happens when soloing. I’ll be playing for a matter of minutes, going from perfectly tuned to sounding awful (and no… it’s not my playing… usually.)What might be causing this and how do I fix it?
Jokes
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