Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
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What do you call a really persistent uncle?
A pain in the ass.
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It was freezing that day and I prayed for snow at my wedding…
It never happened but I got 8 inches on my honey moon.
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Why Did Santa Buy 3 Gardens?
So he can ho ho ho
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Two psychiatrists are taking a walk and happen upon a person lying bleeding from a stab wound.
One of them says to the other, “The person who did this really needs our help”.
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Why was the teenage crustacean upset?
He couldn’t find a date for his high school prawn.
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Why is Santa always so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!
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Anyone else know this xD
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Why does Jesus always look sad?
Because he has birthday and Christmas on the same day.
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For Trading Dec 20th
For Trading December 20thDJIA, NAZ & S&P New HighsNKE BEATSTSLA NEW ALL-TIME HIGH, again!Initial Unemployment Claims Highest Since September 2017Join Us Every Day, Link BelowToday’s market took off right from the start and by 11:30 we had made the high of the day +142, and a bit of profit-taking took us to the low around 1:15 at +85. From there we rallied again and at the close we were +137.68 (.49%), NASDAQ +59.49 (.67%), S&P 500 +14.23 (.45%), the Russell +5.38 (.32%) and the DJ Transports, putting in another meager performance + 25 (.23%). Market internals were positive again without getting anywhere near excessive with NYSE and NAZ both 3:2. DJIA was 23:7 up with MMM and BA the biggest gainers at +20DPs, and CAT the only double-digit loser -14DPs. This market seems to be driven higher by hedge funds looking for catch trades, and it is no surprise to me that they are concentrating on the real battleground names with substantial short players involved. NFLX, which was $292 with everyone calling for its demise over content costs just 8 days ago closed $332.22 today, a 13.6% mover, and of course, TSLA, another short that everyone loves to hate (except retail traders) was $325 10 days ago, finished the day $404 a 24% move, on top of the June to November move from 177 to 344, a 94% gain.Our “open forum” on Discord, which allows me to interact with subscribers and others to allow direct questions and chart opinions on just about any stock, continues to grow with more participants every day. It is informative and allows me to share insights as the market is open and moving. The link is: https://discord.gg/ATvC7YZ and I will be there and active from before the open and all day. It’s a great place to share ideas and gain some insights.