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Jokes

  • What do me and my house plant have in common?

    We’re both dying inside.


  • Cheerio

    So in this magical land where everyone is a cheerio. You have normal Cheerios, frosted Cheerios you know the whole 9 yards. Well this normal cheerio meets a frosted cheerio and they date and all is well. The cheerio wants to marry the frosted cheerio. He goes and to ask the dad for his blessings. The dad says “No you have to be a frosted cheerio”. So the cheerio is kinda sad so he goes to a last resort, a wizard. The wizard says if the cheerio works for him for a while year he will make him a frosted cheerio. So a year goes by and the wizard makes him a frosted cheerio, but only a half of one. So the cheerio goes to the dad and ask if he can marry her again. The dad still says no and that he has to be a full frosted cheerio. Well the cheerio goes back to the wizard and agrees to work with him one more year. So another year goes pass and the wizard makes him a full frosted cheerio. He goes to the dad and he says yes. Well they are exited and they get married. Well at the reception the wife is thirsty so she says “babe I’m thirsty can you go get me a drink” so the husband say “sure” well he goes to the water line and it’s to long, so he goes to the milk line and it is also to long. He goes to the soda line and it’s also long. So he goes to the punch line and well, there is no punch line


  • “Why is that baby still in diapers?”

    I’ll give you two reasons:Number 1, and number 2.


  • The best thing about being an abortion doctor

    You don’t have to buy dog food


  • A snake walks into a bar

    the bartender ask, “How’d you do that?”


  • The kingdom was in shock to find out that the prince’s mother was also his aunt

    He was an ingrown heir


  • You beat Earth…again

    Does anyone else find it slightly annoying that it keeps mentioning this every time you load up the game? Is this a bug or intended?


  • Severum Question

    I have a 55 Gallon Tank with two Severums, a gold and a banded. The gold one is getting quite aggressive and is it about 8″ long at this point. The banded one is about 7″ long.There are a few other small fish in the tank that the gold one does not bother with but it is frequently chasing the other severum.Should I re-home them to someone with a larger tank?


  • Some people say Porsche, some people say “Porsche”. Never quite got the hang of that.

    Tomato. Tomato.


  • Activision after working out that they don’t have to pay tax.

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