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I think women breast feeding in public is disgusting.
I was always taught that if you didn’t bring enough for the entire class, nobody gets to have any.
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Billy’s mom comes home. “Billy, what’s wrong?” -“Dad hanged himself in the attic!” he said in tears.
The mother rushes to the attic in a panic, quickly followed by her son.As she gets up to the attic, she notices that nothing is there, and little Billy started giggling.HaHaHa! April fool’s mommy!!! He hanged himself in the basement!”
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The impeachment of Trump will be a stain on his legacy
Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.
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I have his ear in my pocket
Don’t upvote, I just want to find out what the meaning of this joke is and then I’m done.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, “What happened?””A kid bit me,” replied Ivan.”Would you recognize him if you saw him again?” asked his mother.”I’d know him any where,” said Ivan. “I have his ear in my pocket.”I (regretfully) got my kid this loud obnoxious robot that keeps spamming the same 2 jokes (and a few songs) on repeat, and this is one of the jokes. I’ve heard it 100+ times now and I’d just like to know what the fuck it means.
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I used to think that a shag pile is a type of carpet.
It turns out that it’s a type of friend.
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“I can’t go back to that school”
I put down my book, *The Art of the Unseen*, to examine the fiery young lad before me. “What happened, son?””They took one look at me, and started calling me ‘Ginger’!”I sighed, admitting, “I’d hoped they wouldn’t notice. What did you do?””Well, Dad, you’ve taught me to always remember who I am. So I told them each to make a wish and then I beat the shit out of them.”Struggling to repress a smile, I rested a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a fine djinnja, my son.”
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What do you call a mexican midget?
A paragraph, cause it’s not a full essay.
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There aren’t two genders, nor many, but only one
Because it’s Nerf or nothing.
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Girlfriend of two years broke up with me this fall, I was devastated. Then I realized…
I had 2 fall to lose it allBut in the end it doesn’t even matter…
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I had a dream the ocean was full of orange soda …
It was a Fanta Sea
Jokes
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